“Personally, I would not do that. I would not rent a place in that poor neighborhood,” she says, after you tell her you live in the same neighborhood.
“Hey, how are you? I have been thinking about you and your family. So what did you do this weekend? … Oh, you should have told me; we could have tagged along,” she says after inviting everybody around you to her home, except you.
“I wonder why your boyfriend has gray hair. I can recommend a remedy,” she says, after showing me her fiancé’s picture, front teeth glaring through the mouth.
“So, honestly, what time do you usually come to the office in the morning? Well, I saw you the other day coming in early, but I came earlier than you,” she says when all she does is kill time gossiping.
“Why did you not come yesterday? I thought maybe you had an accident or something,” he says, feeling sorry that no one is ever kind to him despite his love and care.
“Eww, I bet in her culture they eat almost everything, no?” he says after blaming the world for being so racist.
“Hey, can you please help me with this? It looks like such a waste of MY time,” he says to his colleague, who helps without question, despite having her own pile of work to clear up.
These are some of the things I hear every day. It makes me wonder, am I living in some parallel universe where the definition of kindness is somehow twisted? Where being polite, rude, honest, and malicious is all the same? Is it my past karma that I have to survive in this mess? I must have hurt a lot of people with my sharp tongue. Should I adopt these ways again, should I just give in, or should I just swallow the insults and forget about them?
I don’t know anymore how I should rise above it all. What will be my salvation when my inner core is rotting and dying, constantly assimilating what humans are capable of inflicting? It was just today when I felt nauseous trying to smile. It hurts physically to laugh anymore. I tell myself, every morning I wake up, DO NOT ENGAGE WITH PEOPLE, and yet I cannot escape being sucked in again.
But, I will be doing an injustice to people, my people, who really care about me and others less made for this crazy world. These are the people who still keep me afloat on my sinking boat. I also sometimes patch the holes in my boat with every random act of kindness that I come across. This kindness sometimes comes from the same people who hurt us in the first place. Nevertheless, I accept all kindness with open arms. I also look at birds and animals around me and take some solace in nature. The healing power of nature is often overlooked, but this is where every troubled heart heals.
It would be so much better if people did not speak before thinking, think before commenting, and keep their mouths shut if it were not helpful. However, I am not here to change people; rather, I am finding my own way to survive this verbal landslide.
PS: If only we could hold our tongue, this world would be so much better!
Room Writer 
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